So proud...

I'm so proud of my little guy. I have a quick little story that I need to write down. Max has never been big at pointing to things. He has but it is rare. Today I was holding him up to the fish tank and I said where is the fishy? He quickly pointed to where the fishy was swimming. He did this THREE times! YAY Mr. Max. I was so excited for him. I yelled and clapped and hugged him because I was so proud of him!

Evaluation

I don't know where to even start with all of this. I have so much information to think about and I need to try to take this all in. First off Our Evaluator was wonderful with Max today. Max really seemed to like her. There was no wasted time when she got here because they started watching him instantly. She brought lots of toys with her and wanted to see what Max would do with them. Some things he knew what to do with but others he played with incorrectly. She spent two hours with us to watch Max's behaviors.

The evaluator is not allowed to give us any kind of diagnoses but after about an hour she started explaining some things to me. First of all Max's Social and Motor skills are great. She was extremely pleased with this. She explained to me that most autistic children have very poor social skills and this was one of Max's strengths. So this was very good to hear. And again I sat there so confused. All that runs through my mind is-What is going on with my Son? I just want answers.

Max scored low enough on the Adaptive and Communication levels to have a therapist come in and work with him. I was not surprised by this. He has very little communication which is why we think he becomes so frustrated. The Adaptive is how well he can adapt to new things. What brought his score down so much was his eating habits. So Max has qualified for Occupational and Speech Therapy. An Occupational therapist will come in once a week for an hour to work with him and the same goes with the Speech.

As the Evaluator was talking to me she was telling me to google Sensory Diet to see what I came up with. I came across Sensory Processing Disorder. I read on in amazement. I couldn't believe what I was reading-almost everything on this list pertained to Max. So now I am even more confused as ever. Did she tell me to look this up after she left to give me some kind of hint? I had never heard of this before but honestly I had a light bulb moment- this is what Max has. I don't know for sure obviously I am no Doctor. Hopefully the neurologist can give us more information on all of this. I kept on reading. I wanted to see if Autism and SPD were related at all. This is what I found.-A huge percentage of kids with Autism also have SPD but one does not have to autism to have SPD and vice versa. They are each different and distinct diagnoses. I read about Mother's being so confused because they had never heard of SPD and once they heard about this they knew what was going on with their child.

I still don't have any definite answers and maybe no where close. But I do feel like I have more information to run with. All we can do now is wait for our Doctor apt. on July 9th and having the therapists come in and work with Max. I do know that I am going to have a ton of questions to ask the Doctor once we meet.

So I will continue to read on about my new findings and pray that the therapy does wonders for Max.

Late night Thoughts...

I am nervous about what we will find out tomorrow. I'm still so torn! Honestly some days I just sit and wonder about Max and what is really going on with him. We have great days-days where I think that he is a healthy functioning child. Other days I know that my little boy needs some help. I just don't know. I'm so confused. No I don't want to hear that my baby boy has a delay in any area.

I do know that this story was already written way before we even knew that Max would be ours. I know that no matter what the outcome my little boy will still be the same to me as he always has been. And I know that my love will never change for him. The outcome of tomorrow will be as exactly as it is supposed to be-that is hard to write but I know that if the Lord intended Max to be different then we will accept it and do as much as we can for him.

I'm praying that tonight I can get some rest without worrying and take on whatever is thrown our way tomorrow.

I am so thankful to all of you that have been praying for us...Thank You!

Answer to Prayers!

Today was our Intake with Amy to go over lots of questions and paperwork to get Max set up for his evaluation on Friday. There were questions about what his strengths were and his weaknesses, questions about things that he loves to do and things he doesn't like so much. Then of coarse there were all the legal things that I needed to sign and so fourth. We know Amy so the whole situation kind of made me feel more at ease. I felt like I could ask all the questions I needed. So now we wait for Friday to get here for Max's evaluation. Like I had said before we are looking to see if he has a 25% delay in the five areas they are checking. If he would, then we will have a therapist come in once a week and work with him in the areas he needs the most help.

In the midst of all of this I have been worried about when we can get in to see the Pediatric Neurologist. Every single person that I have spoken to have said we won't get in until early November. This really concerned me because now that we have been getting things accomplished quickly there would be a big gap of 4 months or so. This really worried me. I want to keep doing everything that I can for Max at a steady pace. Anyway, this morning I took it upon myself to call Max's Doctor and explain to him what is going on. I needed a referral from our Dr. to see the Neurologist. So our Dr. got in contact with Danville and the receptionist called me from the office. She told me that in fact it would be until November that they got Max in and they would be calling me in a week to set up an appt. I came off the phone discouraged. And again not even 10 minutes later I got a phone call. "Hi, this is so and so and I am calling to set up an appt. for Max" I was stunned! Then she proceeded to tell me that it would take until November to get him seen in Danville BUT this Doctor also just started seeing patients in Harrisburg and if you are willing I have an appt. for him on July 9th! I was so so excited so excited that I almost started to cry. This is HUGE! I kept thanking her for calling me so quickly. I kept thanking the Lord above because he is watching over us. So off we go in about 2 weeks and we are praying that this Doctor can give us some answers and what we need to do for our little boy.

God is answering our prayers...I am so thankful.

The first book

After our last few days with starting to talk about what is going on with my Son I have had a couple people tell me that I needed to get the books by Jenny McCarthy. While on a quick stop by Wal-Mart I picked up her book "Louder Than Words". I can't put it down and am already on the 10th chapter. I am totally consumed. Every word in this book relates to what we are dealing with right now.

Throughout the book Jenny goes on to talk about when they found the Doctor that diagnosed her Son and when he told her it was Autism. She said if it were all the things that she thought were so dear and perfect to her about her son were now actual indicators that her Son had a problem. They are called a STIM. One thing that really stuck out to her was when he got really excited he would flap his arms...that is Max.

These last few months in my heart I have known deep down that something just wasn't right but quickly tucked those thoughts away because my Son is perfect to me and hearing someone say to me that he has a problem would be very hard to take. Jenny talked about how people would start to point out to her that he was different than other children his age. The first person that told her this was her Mother-in -law. She said she became very angry because how dare she label her grandson as different! This struck a chord with me because my Mom has been saying this for quite sometime but I just didn't want to hear it. You just don't like to hear those things about your child.

I know now that I as his Mother need and WILL do everything I can to make him be a thriving healthy child...he deserves that! My heart has been so heavy and I feel at any minute I could burst into tears. I can't do that though...I have to be strong and I don't want my kids to see me broken. I need to be that strong tower for them.

This evening there was such a sweet moment at my Mom and Dad's house. Max is loving and always has been, especially towards me. While we were playing he ran to me and just hugged me and laid his head on my shoulder. I kept whispering in his ear "ahhh, ahhh" like a Mother does to her child when she is being loved on. When he heard me he then repeated it back to me. My Mom heard him and we all had huge smiles on our faces because now things that seem so small are going to feel huge to us.

I know that we haven't gotten a diagnoses yet and it may be awhile before we get one. The last thing I want to do is label him something that he is not. But now talking with more people about it, doing research and reading this book I know that my Son needs help.

We will do everything for that to happen...

Right Path...

Today I found comfort in getting more of my concerns and questions answered. This morning my hours were spent getting to know and learning more about the journey we are about to take with our sweet boy.

I first chatted with a girl named Amy that is going to come into our home on Monday to do an intake which is basically answering her questions and filling out lots of paperwork. This will take about an hour to complete. Then after the paperwork is complete that Friday she will bring an another women with her to evaluate Max. If Max is delayed by 25% or more then we will be referred to a Doctor in Danville or Pittsburgh. The Doctor will be the one who gives us the actual diagnoses of what he has. I am very pleased with how quickly they got back to me. That gives me hope in just knowing that someone is here to help me and they are just as concerned as I am.

After I chatted with Amy not even 5 minutes later I got another call from a lady named Bobbie. I think that God sent her to me because it was such an answer to prayer that I got to speak with her. She also works for the same organization. We talked for well over an hour and I'm telling you someday we will meet in person and may become great friends. Although she works with children like this everyday she also has a son very similar to Max's situation. She answered a lot of questions for me. She also has a daughter that she said was always on track and ahead of everything for her age...I then told her about Halle. She said we need to meet because our paths are so so similar.

As our conversation went on I was telling her about Max and some of the trigger points. I told her how we have not moved on from baby food because he refuses to eat anything else. I didn't realize that this may be a sign but she explained that she is working with a little boy that sounds so much like our situation with Max. This little boy also wouldn't eat anything other than baby food. She said with some therapy he is now eating more foods. She told me that this is a big thing to tell our evaluator. I just felt so relieved after I talked with her, I feel that I am not alone in all of this. I want to do everything that I can for Max and she made me feel like I am doing exactly what I should be doing.

So although we have a long way to go we are on the right path...

It's time...

This blog is going to be about Max and a new path that we are about to embark on with him. I have had reservations about whether or not to start this blog. We have our family blog and we are still going to keep that going. But, this new blog is somewhere that I can write about Max and only Max. New things that he has learned, things that he is struggling with and meetings with our early intervention therapist. For the most part I am doing this blog for me so at times I can look back and see what kind of progress Max has made through all of this.

I have fought with myself for a couple of months. Fighting with the fear that my son may have Autism. Recently I have done some research on Autism and the early signs. The information that I have read make me believe that Max may have a mild form. Some of the signs he has and others he does not. The most thing that I am concerned with is his language development. He says no recognizable words except for Dad. Which by now he should be saying quite a bit. Yesterday I had talked with a couple that were Brandon's childhood neighbors and at that point I decided it was time to look into what I need to do for him.

I am frustrated. Frustrated for Max, frustrated that our Doctor doesn't want to do anything until he is two and frustrated that I feel like I am doing this alone. I spent 2 hours on the phone this morning trying to find direction, for someone to give me some sort of guidance. After a long two hours I finally found someone that could help me. SAM INC. is an organization that will get in touch with the special needs center. From there we will have an early intervention therapist come in and watch Max. They will asses him on five different levels. From that point I don't know where we will go. But I did find some comfort today in knowing that we will have someone who specializes in Autism to watch our little guy.

There are so many unknowns. I am scared...scared that he is going to have autism. Scared that people will look at him differently, scared that people aren't going to accept him and scared that he isn't going to be able to view the world and experience new things like a normal child would. All I know is that if our Boy does have autism I will love him no less. He will always be my son and perfect in my eyes.

I do have hope that if in fact Max does have Autism, that we have caught it early enough to get him the help he needs.

Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we learn to walk this new path.