Emotional Day

I sit here with mixed emotions of the day. Going into today I wanted answers, some kind of direction for Max. I really didn't know if we would get a diagnosis today. I had thought that I prepared myself as much as I could for whatever information came our way...I was wrong. I had heard so many people say that Doctors won't diagnose until 3 years of age. In my opinion if you know that there is something going on with you child you need to push the Doctors. This is lost and wasted time that you could be getting extra help for your child...it's precious time.

When we arrived everyone was so kind and pleasant. I quickly filled out some paperwork. While I did this the Doctor asked if she could take Max back to the room to work with him. He eagerly walked back the hall but when he walked in the room he was upset that I wasn't there. So she came out and asked if I would come back to the room and join them. She observed Max and watched how he played with certain things. She then asked if Max had any strengths. I told her about the shape sorter and how he loves shapes. She brought out a toy that you put shapes in and he knew where they went all by himself. She was very pleased with his ability to do this.

When she was done observing Max she said "You are going to leave here today with a diagnosis" My heart started to pound faster and harder. This is what I wanted...to not have to wait to receive a diagnosis but it was still very hard to hear. I asked what type of Autism he had...Aspergers...High Functioning because these are the two that we may have thought he had. She explained that Max has Autism. That with the other two there isn't much of a verbal delay. Max was ranged to be that of a 10 month old in his verbal ability. That was heart wrenching to hear. In non verbal ability he ranged that of a 17 month old. His ability to do things with shapes really brought up his score. She recommends that Max have 25 hours of ABA therapy a week on top of his 3 sessions he has already. She really thinks this will improve his verbal ability and seemed hopeful that with help Max will talk in the future.

Today was a hard day...a very hard day. Max is exhausted. I'm exhausted and mentally drained. I knew that this was going to be the diagnosis but I don't think that I was fully aware of how it would feel to hear those words for the first time. "Max has Autism"

I am trusting that the Lord is going to carry us through this tough time. That he made Max just as he was meant to be. With this I can find some hope.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths."-Proverbs 3:5,6